wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
