is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
