Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
