i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
