I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
