i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
