she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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