how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Randomize
