Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
