You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
