I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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