Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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