I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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