i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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