oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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