Duck Duck Cougar?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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