I can tuck mytits in my pants
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Randomize
