Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
How's work?
Spinning.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
