So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
