At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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