I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
