We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
