so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
