you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
