Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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