we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
