I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
