you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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