It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
