I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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