I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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