glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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