I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
