Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
