Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
