i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
