Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
