Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
apparently the secret to your success is patron
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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