I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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