I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
