You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
