yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
