What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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