I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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