i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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