I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
