New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
