after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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