they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
