Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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